皮尔逊（Rita F. Pierson）生于教师世家，从1972年初为人师，到2013年去世，四十年扑在课堂上，是美国最受学生喜爱的老师之一。她曾经告诫一位同事：“小孩子可不跟他们不喜爱的人学习。”可她也坦承并不全都喜爱自己所教的学生。但凡老师均不免遇上难搞的学生，不喜爱这类学生乃是人之常情。身为教师在执教中该如何对待那些不怎么讨喜的学生呢？请看皮老师在TED上的一场教育演讲，从中或许可以琢磨现代师生伦理以及为师之道。频观看
我这辈子都耗在学校里，要么在去学校的路上，要么在谈论学校发生的事情。我的双亲是教育工作者，我的外公外婆是教育工作者，我做同样的事四十年了。所以，不用说，过往的岁月里我有机会从诸多角度审视教育改革。有些改革甚好，有些改革却不怎么妙。我们知道小孩子为什么辍学，我们知道小孩子为什么不学。个中原因要么是贫穷，要么是低出勤率，或者是同伙的坏影响。我们知道为什么。但是，其中有一件事我们从不讨论或者极少讨论，那就是人类联接（即关系）的价值和重要性。
詹姆士·卡莫说：没了有意义的关系，就不会发生有意义的学习。乔治·华盛顿·卡弗说：一切学习都是理解各种关系。在座各位都曾经受到某个老师或某个成年人影响。我看人教书多年，看过最好的，也看过一些最差劲的。
有一次，有个同事跟我说：“他们没有付费给我去爱孩子。他们付费给我去教书。小孩子得学，我得教。他们得学会。就是这么个理儿。”
然后，我就跟她说：“你知道，小孩子可不跟他们不喜爱的人学习。”
她说：“这简直就是一派胡言。”
然后我对她说：“好吧，亲爱的，你这一年会变得又漫长又痛苦。”
事实果真如此。有些人认为，你要么有能力建立关系，要么不具有这种能力。我认为史蒂芬·柯维的想法是对的。他说，你只需要做一些简单的事情，比如力求先理解他人，而不是力求先自己得到理解，又比如道歉。你想过吗？——你跟孩子说对不起，他们都惊呆了。
我曾经上过一堂比例课。我数学不是很好，但我当时就在教数学。然后，我回去翻了一下教师用书。我整堂课都教错了。（笑声）
于是我第二天回到班上说：“同学们，我要道歉。我整堂课都教错了。我非常抱歉。”
他们说，“没关系，皮老师。你讲得那么起劲，我们就让你讲下去了。”
我曾经教过程度非常低的班级，学业上差到我哭了。我心里直打鼓：在9个月之内怎么把这帮孩子从他们现有的水平提升到他们必备的水平？这真的很难，这太难了。我怎么提升一个孩子的自信心，同时又提升他的学业成绩呢？
有一年，我想到了一出妙计。我告诉所有的学生：“你们被选进我的班，是因为我是最好的老师，而你们是最好的学生。他们把我们弄到一块，这样我们就可能给其他人做样子。”
一个学生说：“真的吗？”
我说：“当然是真的。我们得给其他班级做样子，所以我们走在楼道里的时候大家都会注意到我们，所以我们不能吵吵嚷嚷。大家只需要昂首阔步。”我还给了他们一套说法：“我是个人物。我来的时候是个人物。我毕业的时候会变成一个更好的人物。我有力量，我强大。我值得在这里受教育。我有事要做，我有人要留下印象，我有地方要去。”
然后他们说：“㖿！”
这套说法你说的时间够长的话，它就会开始成为你的一个部分。
于是－（掌声）我做了一个小测验，20道题。有个学生错了18道。我在他的卷子上写了个“＋2”，又画了一张大大的笑脸。
他说：“皮老师，这是不及格吗？”
我说：“是的。”
他说：“那你为什么给我一个笑脸？”
我说：“因为你在发挥呀。你做对了两题，没有全错。”我说：“我们复习时候，难道你不会做得更好吗？”
他说：“是的，老师，我会做得更好。”
瞧瞧，“-18”要了你的老命。“＋2”则意味着“我没有糟透。”
好多年了，我看着我妈妈利用课间休息时间批改作业，下午去家访，买梳子，买刷子，买花生酱，买饼干，放在自己的抽屉里，给那些饿了的孩子们吃，还为那些不大好闻的孩子准备了一条毛巾和一些肥皂。看看，教那些臭哄哄的孩子有多难。而小孩子们会毫不客气。所以她把这些东西都放在抽屉里。过了多年，在她退休以后，我看到一些当年的孩子获得了成功，跟她说：“您知道的，皮老师，您改变了我的人生。您使我的人生有意义。您让我觉得我是个人物，虽说在心底我知道我不是。我就是想让您看看我现在成了个什么样的人。”
两年前我母亲去世，享年92岁。当时有好多好多以前的学生前来参加她的葬礼，令我热泪盈眶，不是因为她走了，而是因为她留下了一份关系遗产，永不消逝的遗产。
我们能有更多的关系吗？肯定能有。你会喜爱你所有的学生吗？当然不会。你懂的，最难搞的孩子从不缺场。（笑声）从不缺场。你不会全都喜爱他们，而难搞的孩子登场是有原因的。这就是联接，这就是关系。当你不会全都喜爱他们的时候，关键就在于，他们永远永远不会知道这一点。所以老师们变成了伟大的演员，我们不喜爱工作时来上班，我们听从那些毫无意义的政策，不管怎样我们还得上课。不管怎样我们还得上课，因为这是我们干的活。
教和学应该带来快乐。如果我们的孩子不害怕冒险，不害怕思考，都赢得冠军，我们的世界会怎样的强大？每个孩子都应该拥有一项冠军，成年人要永远不放弃他们，懂得联接的强大力量，坚信他们能够尽可能变成最好的自己。
这项工作艰巨不？那还用说，上帝，那还用说。但这不是不可能的。我们能够做到。我们是教育工作者。我们生来就是要有所作为的。
多谢各位！
附英文稿
I have spent my entire life either at the schoolhouse, on the way to the schoolhouse, or talking about what happens inthe schoolhouse. Both my parents were educators, my maternal grandparents were educators, and for the past 40 years I've done the same thing. And so, needless to say, over those years I've had a chance to look at education reform from a lot of perspectives. Some of those reforms have been good. Some of them have been not so good. And we know why kids drop out. We know why kids don't learn. It's either poverty, low attendance, negative peer influences. We know why. But one of the things that we never discuss or we rarely discuss is the value and importance of human connection, relationships.
James Comer says that no significant learning can occur without asignificant relationship. George Washington Carver says all learning is understanding relationships. Everyone in this room has been affected by a teacher or an adult. For years, I have watched people teach. I have looked at the best and I've look at some of the worst.
A colleague said to me one time, "They don't pay me to like the kids. They pay me to teach a lesson. The kids should learn it. I should teach it.They should learn it. Case closed."
Well, I said to her, "You know, kids don't learn from people they don't like."
She said, "That's just a bunch of hooey."
And I said to her, "Well, your year is going to be long and arduous, dear."
Needless to say it was. Some people think that you can either have it in you to build a relationship or you don't. I think Stephen Covey had the right idea. He said you ought to just throw in a few simple things, like seeking first to understand as opposed to being understood, simple things like apologizing. You ever thought about that? Tell a kid you're sorry, they're in shock.
I taught a lesson once on ratios. I'm not real good with math, but I was working on it. And I got back and looked at that teacher edition. I'd taught the whole lesson wrong. (Laughter)
So I came back to class the next day, and I said, "Look, guys, I need to apologize. I taught the whole lesson wrong. I'm so sorry."
They said, "That's okay, Ms. Pierson. You were so excited, we just let you go."
I have had classes that were so low, so academically deficient that I cried. I wondered, how am I going to take this group in nine months from where they are to where they need to be? And it was difficult. It was awfully hard. How do I raise the self-esteem of a child and his academic achievement at the same time?
One year I came up with a bright idea. I told all my students, "You were chosen to be in my class because I am the best teacher and you are the best students, they put us all together so we could show everybody elsehow to do it."
One of the students said, "Really?"
I said, "Really. We have to show the other classes how to do it, so when we walk down the hall, people will notice us, so you can't make noise. You just have to strut." And I gave them a saying to say: "I am somebody. I was somebody when I came. I'll be a better somebody when I leave. I am powerful, and I am strong. I deserve the education that I get here. I have things to do, people to impress, and places to go."
And they said, "Yeah!"
You say it long enough, it starts to be a part of you.
And so — (Applause) I gave a quiz, 20 questions. A student missed 18. I put a "+2" on his paper and a big smiley face.
He said, "Ms. Pierson, is this an F?"
I said, "Yes."
He said, "Then why'd you put a smiley face?"
I said, "Because you're on a roll. You got two right. You didn't miss them all." I said, "And when we review this, won't you do better?"
He said, "Yes, ma'am, I can do better."
You see, "-18" sucks all the life out of you."+2" said, "I ain't all bad."
For years I watched my mother take the time at recess to review, goon home visits in the afternoon, buy combs and brushes and peanut butter and crackers to put in her desk drawer for kids that needed to eat, and a washcloth and some soap for the kids who didn't smell so good. See, it's hard to teach kids who stink. And kids can be cruel. And so she kept those things in he rdesk, and years later, after she retired, I watched some of those same kids come through and say to her, "You know, Ms. Walker, you made a differencein my life. You made it work for me. You made me feel like I was somebody, when I knew, at the bottom, I wasn't. And I want you to just see what I've become."
And when my mama died two years ago at 92, there were so many former students at her funeral, it brought tears to my eyes, not because she was gone, but because she left a legacy of relationships that could never disappear.
Can we stand to have more relationships? Absolutely. Will you like all your children? Of course not. And you know your toughest kids are never absent. (Laughter) Never. You won't like them all, and the tough ones show up for a reason. It's the connection. It's the relationships. And while you won't like them all, the key is, they can never, ever know it. So teachers become great actors and great actresses, and we come to work when we don't feel like it, and we're listening to policy that doesn't make sense, and we teach anyway. We teach anyway, because that's what we do.
Teaching and learning should bring joy. How powerful would our worldbe if we had kids who were not afraid to take risks, who were not afraid to think, and who had a champion? Every child deserves a champion, an adult whowill never give up on them, who understands the power of connection, and insists that they become the best that they can possibly be.
Is this job tough? You betcha. Oh God, you betcha. But it is not impossible. We can do this. We're educators. We're born to make a difference.
Thank you so much.
（华东师范大学黄向阳博士 译）
来源：“教理坊”公众号
（文字编辑：雨桥）
（网络编辑：刘文一）
